Hey sooner, Sorry to hear about your night--it sounds positively dreadful. I can completely feel your pain of putting "yourself" out there, only to get accused of trying to start a fight.
I would suggest that the next time this happens, do NOT take her bait and allow it to escalate into a fight. When that happens, she has effectively turned all the scrutiny and attention towards the fight and away from the real topic--why she refuses to try having a sex life.
If you stay calm and collected, but stand your ground and don't give in to the "fighting temptation" she will have no choice but to do the same. What about asking her, "Why does me saying the word sex mean that I want to start a fight?"
Also, does she understand that you have no intention of ever giving up on this? Sometimes I really think that the LD spouse thinks they can win this 'battle' (for lack of a better word) simply continuing to shove it under the carpet. They erroneously think that someday the HD spouse will "get it" and just give up on ever having that in their marriage. It just isn't so. An HD person will give up on that particular LD person, but not on having a satisfying sex life altogether. I, as an HD person, just cannnot SEE how they could think that this is something that one can just toss to the side. Yes, yes, I understand that THEY don't put any importance on it so it doesn't seem like that much of a big deal, but the thing is.......they KNOW their spouse right? They have heard time and time again how integral it is to them, and still they attempt to get that person to toss it aside? Is that true love? No way!
I am ranting now and not offering one iota of support to you. I just feel so frustrated when I read things like this. I wish I could offer more constructive advice. But all I have is this: when you do return home, refuse to let is escalate into a fight. Stay calm and low-voiced and loving and stand your ground. You deserve to have a loving relationship with your wife.
