This was the very question that I have pondered back and forth. Do I want to be married to this man? Do I believe a future with him after all that has been said and done is something I want to even attempt? This man abandoned me and cheated on me. Funny thing is I could forgive and take him back if it weren't for one thing. He abandoned my children. Not one word to them since he left. My daughter just celebrated her 11th birthday and not even the common courtesy of a Happy Birthday to a little girl who idolized him and had the very stars in her eyes that he is searching the world over for. They were right there staring him in the face and he never saw them. This girl was so enraptured at having a daddy, finally. This man promised to love her and adopt her and he left. Never looking back over his shoulder. Will he ever realize what he lost? I seriously doubt it. Would I ever take him back? Not for all the money in the world. My children and their hurt won't allow me to even contemplate a reconciliation.
I sit here and read the boards often wondering why people have such a hard time communicating and the damage that it does to relationships. I watch people who eat so much crap from the very people who promised to love, honor, and cherish them and it saddens my heart. Society is such a "I've got to find MY happiness" feeling to it. All of us who wanted nothing more than a chance once we knew that something was wrong. All of us who had our hearts ripped out by those words ILYBINILWY. It's mind blowing.
I certainly understand where you are coming from, Smiley. I wouldn't date someone who has done the things my STBXH has. Why in the world would I want to stay married to him? I kept my vows. I might have griped, nagged, and not been as interested as he thought I should be, but I never put someone in my life above him. I never even looked at another man in that way. It's a hard thing to decide on. I just know that my self respect, my dignity, and my inability to ever fully trust him will always be things that keep me from ever being able to say, "Yes, I want to stay married to this man who broke my heart, slept with my ex best friend, lied for months on end, and abandoned me and my children."
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
