Cautiously optimisitic. Family day went well. How do I not get my hopes up? A couple weeks ago he couldn't even talk to me without yelling and criticizing. Today we spent a family day at the aquarium and it was very peaceful. I kept "as if"ing like crazy.
At the end of the night over dinner, I felt myself begin to react when he started R talks. I started getting defensive, that would have been a fight in the past. I told him instead that I was getting emotional and that I would prefer not to have the talk over dinner. I guess that was a 180.
How do I sit with the good days and not fear that tomorrow will be more "I'm moving on, nothing will change, I won't take the risk?" I fear he won't notice the progress! How do I GAL when things are going so well? I want more! I want him to run to my arms and say things are changing and he's hopeful. That of course won't happen for a long time, if ever. I'm afraid the changes will be too little too late and my hopes will be dashed after lovely days like today. I want to take him in my arms and make up and it hurts almost more when things feel nice and then he takes off to his place and still won't touch me or talk about the future.
