Gotta Keep Trying 2

[Dia]

Yeah, for me the anger's about a slightly different issue. Sometimes H is all into this drama/righteous anger of <wrist to forehead> "You wounded me grievously and I don't think I can ever trust you again." And on the one hand, believe me, I get that and that is the main motivator behind all of the unconditional love he's getting atm.

On the other hand, "HELL-OOOO, pot, kettle, black - ring any bells? At least I wasn't scr*%ing my best friend's wife in our own flippin' bed."

[givingitmyall]

Yeah, I understand that adds a new dynamic. I don't think I have that in my sitch, but there is still a different version of trust issues. Mainly, if we reconcile, I don't think I will ever be able to trust her not to do this again. I have tried to imagine what a new M with W would be like, and it would definitely be different - some good and some bad.

[Dia]

Yeah. He's never apologized and he's never actually admitted it was an affair - and that puts me in a precarious place, the 'Do I really want to be with this person?' place.

I think we can get past it, but he can't have it both ways. If he wants to bust me for my affair, then he has to take his own lumps as well. If he wants to maintain that what he did *wasn't* an affair, well, that's fine - but then I didn't have one either so why are we fighting again?

[Faith2010]

I am disliking the slow rate of progress. There is clearly no urgency on W's part. I understand it, I just...don't...like...it.

I completely understand. Sometimes I'd like to light a fire under H's a$$ (or knock him over the head with a baseball bat).

[givingitmyall]

Sometimes I'd like to light a fire under H's a$$ (or knock him over the head with a baseball bat).

How about BOTH?

Didn't mean to get either of you guys worked up, Dia and Ashlee. You both are doing very well.

I was just venting a little frustration. Patience has always been a challenge for me. I am sooooo much better than pre-bomb.

[Dia]

I'm not even worked up, really. Just - when I do get worked up, that's usually what it's about.

[Faith2010]

Me neither...not worked up. Just dreamin'...

[Energizer Bunny]

I was just venting a little frustration.

This is the best place to vent. It saves from venting and backsliding at home.

Patience has always been a challenge for me. I am sooooo much better than pre-bomb.

That goes for me too. I have NEVER had much patience. This is one of the few good things that has come out of all of this. Isn't it amazing how much patience you can squeeze out of yourself? I would have said (prebomb) that I wouldn't "put up" with this at all, let alone for so long.

I don't think that any of us could go through this stuff without major changes. Complete paradigm shifts.

BTW - changed my screen name to alleviate any confusion (fmr Giving My All)

[givingitmyall]

BTW - changed my screen name to alleviate any confusion (fmr Giving My All)

No problem.

[sandi2]

I'm pretty sure my H is a Nice Guy - but what's the female equivalent? Because I'm it.

Dia, have you ever watched that old movie, "Gone With the Wind"? I can't remember her character's name but she was the one married to "Ashley" in the movie. She was the complete opposite of Scarlett O'Hara. She was so "sweet" that she was sickening, IMHO. Call me crazy, but it seems to me that men would like a little spice to go with some of that sugar. There was only one scene in the movie where she was anything other that......too meek.....to mild.....and way too sweet...(yuck)!