Thank you SOOOOOOO much for this post (and give BF a great BIG kiss for sharing! --- you don't have to tell him that's what it is for ). I have read this post over again and again. I think I am going to have it laminated. I've been missing male companionship and have been struggling with whether or not to call a man who gave me his phone number a couple weeks ago. Frustrated with H because the 1 year anniversary of the bomb and 3 year wedding anniversary is approaching in 2 1/2 weeks and divorce is due to be final in 2 1/2 months....but I think that the universe is telling me to continue DB'ing. I received a number of 'signs' over the last 2 days to continue, with your conversation with BF among them. (Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Originally Posted By: AliSuddenly
he says it will never happen again, that he made a terrible, insane decision (to leave and then another, to date nightmare ow) and from that 2 years, he has learnt "a million things"
I guess that since we have all been working so hard to figure out 'what went wrong' I've been guilty of thinking that our walk-aways just had their heads 'stuck in the sand'...but your BF and other walk-aways say that they DO learn while on their own, so it appears that it can happen.
Originally Posted By: AliSuddenly
a culmination point of years of low self esteem and being a people pleaser and silently seething at not being "listened to"
Originally Posted By: AliSuddenly
If you are unhappy with something, but act like you are fine, you are not being honest and true to yourself and you cant expect others to read your mind!
Originally Posted By: AliSuddenly
I had stopped listening to him, or respecting his decisions at least and he didnt handle that well - instead of telling me, he "gave up" (again thats his depression he says now) and saw things in a very negative way and he says now it was insane, but he felt I didn't love him!
Originally Posted By: AliSuddenly
So in terms of those triggers, I am careful to let him make decisions now, I am gentler and actively listen, as they call it. If that helps!
All of the quotes above really resonated with my situation, so thank you VERY much for sharing that information to all of us.
). I have read this post over again and again. I think I am going to have it laminated. 
I've been missing male companionship and have been struggling with whether or not to call a man who gave me his phone number a couple weeks ago. Frustrated with H because the 1 year anniversary of the bomb and 3 year wedding anniversary is approaching in 2 1/2 weeks and divorce is due to be final in 2 1/2 months....but I think that the universe is telling me to continue DB'ing. I received a number of 'signs' over the last 2 days to continue, with your conversation with BF among them. (Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
