UPSIDE DOWN and struggling badly.

[gucci loafer]

He saw a really 'together' me and one who only needed a small amount of assistance. Do you really think that he will be questioning?

I don't think he will. I saw pursuing and chasing on your part.
He knew it and felt it too.... What I believe he felt was a woman that was pursuing him and trying to act all happy and bubbly as part of the plan...

I just said that I hoped the weather would be nice for him.

I was so upbeat, smily and attentive to his conversation.

It seemed to warm him and I asked if I could fix him some dinner.

You had already asked him to eat dinner BEFORE he came over and he told you no. That makes two dinner invites. That is PURSUIT.

I joked with him that I was still waiting on my invite to his unit for coffee and he said that yes, I would be waiting a long time for that one!

I think you were secretly testing him. This is PURSUIT. A man can feel it when a woman is pursuing like this.

I asked him if he was happy

You said it felt "appropriate". I disagree. It is NOT appropriate in your situation. What could you possibly GAIN by this question? It isn't worth the risk to ask somone if they are happy when they have LEFT you.

as I was unable to go out and post his Fathers Day card today (yes, I decided that I woul send it!) I slipped it in to a box that he was taking - along with a packet of Beef Hula Hoops that he loves so much! I put the porch lights on and I prepared for a good parting.

You are CHASING him and pursuing him. Through most of this time together you have been pursuing and yet trying to get him to think you were just a happy woman with no worries. He didn't see the happy as much as he felt that you were still after him.

I stayed out by the door and waved as he drove away. I smiled the whole time - though if he could see me in the dark, I'm not sure

There it is again. It is a given when a woman really likes you that she stands at the door and smiles and waves at you as you drive away.


There are more examples, but I hope you see my point. I think you are making a mistake on trying to be all happy and bubbly and yet still give him huge signs of pursuit and chasing. It is normally a turnoff to a man when he is rejecting a woman by leaving her and she keeps trying to win his attention and love. IT is ok to be happy, but it works better to act happy as if you are glad TOO that he is gone. Happy too that you realized that you don't have to be with a man who will have a blantant affair on you and that you have had an awakening and realized that you are happy BECAUSE you deserve better from a man.

That's my take. I think that he will continue to cake eat until you change direction. Trying to win him from her is a classic mistake many women make. It only serves to boost his ego to have not one BUT two women fighting for him.

I think it is a far better plan to let him WONDER IF he has lost YOU because of his behavior. That has been my observation from the successful reconcilations on this site for the most part.