Earlier this morning, I got this from her while I'm at work...
"Thanks for working with me so we could go on this cruise. Please let them know where you're going out of town. They need to know, being your kids. You shouldn't keep that kind of stuff from them."
...I'm going out of town this weekend to do a 100 mile bicycle ride in another state. I've been working on logistics (hotels, transportation, etc.), and I plan on telling the kids tonight specifically.
Anyway, I sent back the following...
"You're welcome. I am not keeping anything from the kids, nor will I...please don't assume you know that I am. If you want to know, just ask, but please don't assume to know. Have a blast on your cruise."
Hindsight, right, but maybe you could have avoided the back & forth by saying something like "I plan to give them the specifics tonight. Just finalizing the hotel, etc. Have a great trip". The way you responded put her on the defense, I think.
At this point, I'd let it go. In a day or two, check in and keep it friendly. I think you got sucked into a debate about what the kids are entitled to know, secrets, assumptions... and you need to keep things friendly. My two cents.
