The DB two step

[Dr LOve]

My H. Scope for today

Even if you aren't enjoying your work today, it's easy to make it look like you're having fun. This can become a game for you that alleviates your boredom and actually makes life more pleasurable. But there could be a price to pay for hiding your true feelings if you don't know when to call it quits. Unexpressed negative emotions can turn into resentment, so it may be wiser to just be honest from the beginning.

Doc,

I don't know what to make of your conversation other than you just said out loud what you both were thinking. She's admitted to you that you were doing all the work.

Yes you are right. But It had to be said out loud. As much as I would NOT like it. I have a feeling she is too chicken to leave. I think she may want me to make the first move.

Well what about her? It's been 2 years. There comes a point where you either sh*t or get off the pot.

This is where we are at

I read on a few books that it takes a minimum of 2 years for a betrayed partner to "get over" an A, IF both spouses are willing to support one another. Since your W hasn't been doing that, you have been trying to heal on your own, while dealing with the betrayal.

I agree. It has been hard but I have been trying to hold things together for my son. But I was losing myself. My own identity

Trust me, I'm in your exact shoes right now. However I was able to lay down the ground rules so that W and I are in the same bed and she has been doing little things here and there.

Been there done that.. You see my wife is stubborn. If I said “if you are not in OUR room before I leave for Wash. it’s over” she would NOT be there because I made the demand. If you read back always I tried that one already

Your W hasn't really changed. PLUS she told you to never talk to the OM "or else". What the hell is that? She shouldn't have been in the position to even make that demand. My W told me the same thing and I told her she couldn't demand I do or not do something. Whatever I decided to do, would be MY choice not hers. And whatever the consequences were, she would have to live with the fact that SHE started this whole mess with her A.

You need to take the power she has over you away.

Just my 2 cents.

YES.. Tonight is our son’s back to school night so I am not going to pursue anything right now. But I will make sure she understands that being separated just like I can’t say who she can contact or see I will contact and see anyone I please.
I will NOT die never having been cared about and intimate with a person again.
And I could die anyway………
I am going to wait until all my reservation are complete though before Just incase by some slight chance she tried to stop me from going……….
Yes you are right that I just said what we both may have been thinking. But now I feel she knows that my loyalty is to myself not her