Indy, not sure I have a 1-size fits all answer. For me, I put all my effort into saving my M. My career for that year went down the tubes. The past couple of years, I've been more and more preoccupied with work, thinking we were good. That, and I think my W has a hole of discontent in her that just part of her, and she things that getting out the M will make things better. So - I think there is an underlying problem in my M as to the size of my wife's needs, and my ability to balance what I can do. I made a lot of changes the 1st time around that are still with me, and I'm a better person for it - but, as GIMA pointed out, there are larger issues that were only temporarilly resolved.
I have a buddy that has been through this too - W was unhappy, they reconsiled, and now he's worred that she's drifting to this discontent again, and he's going to end up in the same place.
I think you need to calm down right now - yes, start DBing, abolutely, but she hasn't dropped a bomb. Right? Get yourself together. You're not in last resort yet.
