I don't know what to make of your conversation other than you just said out loud what you both were thinking. She's admitted to you that you were doing all the work. Well what about her? It's been 2 years. There comes a point where you either sh*t or get off the pot.
I read on a few books that it takes a minimum of 2 years for a betrayed partner to "get over" an A, IF both spouses are willing to support one another. Since your W hasn't been doing that, you have been trying to heal on your own, while dealing with the betrayal.
Trust me, I'm in your exact shoes right now. However I was able to lay down the ground rules so that W and I are in the same bed and she has been doing little things here and there.
Your W hasn't really changed. PLUS she told you to never talk to the OM "or else". What the hell is that? She shouldn't have been in the position to even make that demand. My W told me the same thing and I told her she couldn't demand I do or not do something. Whatever I decided to do, would be MY choice not hers. And whatever the consequences were, she would have to live with the fact that SHE started this whole mess with her A.
You need to take the power she has over you away.
Just my 2 cents.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
