On the verge of a meltdown.

[tryingtilDorR]

This friendship she has with the male co-worker probably has a LOT to do with her attitude about the M. Or, at a minimum, it is a barrier to getting her to consider working on the M.

Even if it isn't a PA, the fact that she spends time with a friend of the opposite sex while she is considering leaving you is a clear indicator.

Now, obviously she wasn't happy in the first place which opened her up to the possibility of letting someone else enter her life, but this friendship is like poison for your M I believe.

I suspected that the same thing was going on with my W and I resorted to snooping finally and learned the truth. Only then can you really effetively deal with the situation. You need to know what you are up against.

At a minimum, the relationship is inappropriate and affecting her desire to be with you, even if you can't verify that they are secretly meeting with one another. As soon as you identify things they are doing together that she won't admit to you or lies about you have your smoking gun I think. Start looking real hard.