Thanks guys for responding. It's funny in terms of the thoughts that come into my head. When I think about "nasty H" right now - and really his hurtful actions, I don't feel so sad (it pushes me away from him a bit, good right now i think). But when I think of the good/old him, I get sad. I've tried 'thought-stopping' and when I have positive memory reminding me of current bad H. Anyone do this? I guess I am afraid in some ways of letting go...trying to think only about "mean H" right now that it may shift my feelings for him permanently (and there is part of me that is scared of that if he ever wanted to reconcile).
Pearl - I assume it took awhile for you to trust BF again after he'd been acting like a jerk and w the OW and all. When you guys were separated, did you just try to think of the bad/mean side of him to constantly encourage yourself that you deserved better? Or did you just try to not think of him at all? How did you come to trust him again after what he did? Did you actually date others? Is it strange that I'm afraid if I date others I might develop feelings for someone else, and feel less committed to H? I know this is so silly given that it's what he's doing, but part of me is afraid of that..
Just wanted to see how you handled your own mindset at the time - good memories vs bad memories focus, in terms of your own health and moving on (yet keeping DB goals in mind if there were ever to be reconciliation).
Thanks friends, hope you are having a nice day. I'm off to get my hair colored for a new look in a bit! -hhh
