It's like they are conscience of what they're doing, but feel helpless and that they can't do anything about it.
Have you read up on "learned helplessness." Google Martin Seligman. You can model healthy behavior and change some of her word choices to help her.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.