[quote]I stopped believing a long time ago that God has a hand in any of this but I am left wondering what lesson I am supposed to be learning from all of this. All I feel is punished and I've done nothing to be punished for.
ACJ, I hope you don't mind me sharing something about this. IMO, God doesn't bring harm to anyone to teach them any lesson but uses situations that others cause (in this case, your H) and God will use these situations to help us learn and hold us up. Case in point, you and others here and close family and friends at home have been there for me while I am going through my own issues.
I know God is not responsible for what has happened. I know it is the selfishness of others that have caused this pain and continue to inflict damage. I believe that He has been by my side and many times, carrying me. I believe this because I have been utterly lost and felt without hope. And somehow He has gotten me through. I have seen, what I believe, are little messages He has sent to me to encourage me. Too many coincidences seem to pile up to ignore.
For me, I think what God is trying to do in my sitch is to rely on Him completely. I am trying but it is hard for a person like me who likes to be in charge of himself.
In the long term, ACJ, your kids will know who was there for them. Hopefully they will not be too harsh on their father and will instead focus on the mom you have been for them. For now, it is hard to see this but I believe it will happen.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
