Leave the creep alone and don't send any messages to him. If she wants to cut it off with this guy, then SHE has to do it. If you have contact with him, she might feel like she has to defend him or encourage him because you are picking on him or harasssing him.
I agree that he is a dispicable creep, taking advantage of a very vunerable woman. You have to maintain the high road in this situation which is very hard to do but you are trying. You still are having considerable contact with the W and Kids, that is good. She is still very confused and emotional, and sounds as if she misses you, another positive sign. You are working on it, just don't push too hard.
