How often do he and OW communicate - I have no freakin clue. He doesn't text, so they don't text. If he's calling her, he has to be doing it from work/on his lunch as he doesn't have a private office. She's a teacher, so it's unlikely that their lunches line up. Only twice in all the time I've been here have I strongly felt that he was emailing or chatting with her, and I don't have proof for those times. All in all, it would seem that contact initiated by him is sparse. I suppose they could be having email blasts while he's at work, but again - she's a teacher and I would guess that her access to personal email at work is limited.
She sends him cards in the mail every so often - "Miss you/thinking of you" sort of things, often with a photo. One of those came in the mail yesterday, I think. H had the mail in his hands and was nervous when he came home (and after all the great energy about grilling too - shucks!). He distracted me by handing me two catalogs and then he hid the rest of the mail. I only saw the back of a card shaped envelope, so I have no confirmation of what it was (or who it was from) - but he usually puts the mail on the bar. He doesn't know I saw the card.
He sucks at subterfuge, so that a good thing, LOL!! We don't get mail to the house. We have to go down to the Post Office to get it. So he could very easily have opened the card in the PO or in the car and I never would have known. *shrug* I'm carrying on as if I'm completely oblivious to the card and the email activity.
Last night was ok but not great. H was conflicted by the time he got home - b/c of the card, I assume. He's got a world with her and a world with me and when they collide, it would be very understandable for him to get anxious. We grilled and had good burgers. Things were light, upbeat and casual - but lacking some of the customary warmth.
There was a point where all three of us were reading under a blanket on the couch. H got up for something and was struck by how 'cute' we looked both reading these big, thick tomes. He took a picture. I found that significant, and he still talks about my kitty as if he's staying permanently.
*shrug* It is what it is. My first paycheck will be here soon, and I'll be getting some more DB Coaching sessions. The first one helped immensely, so we'll see what the rest do.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
