She says she feels horrible about what she's doing to our family. Wishes she didn't feel the way she did. Knows how much I love her and knows she doesn't feel the same way. Doesn't want to put our son through it etc.
I was very upbeat with her and even shared good work and family news with her yesterday. She was very receptive and things almost seemed normal for a 1/2 hr or so. I went and got pizza for dinner and we even ate together.
Once again, a few minutes of normalcy seemed to be too much for her pretty quickly. She said she was tired and went to "her" room for the evening at like 7:30. (she complained a little about being tired all of the time but not being able to sleep). She sat in there watching movies, but was up 1/2 the night again.
It is freaking brutal "playing happyface" but I think it needs to be done. Also brutal to hear her openly refer to "your" room and "my" room in place of "our" room and the "extra" room. I think it will bleed if I bite my tongue anymore. I'm getting better at it though. I have always been to the one that spoke first and thought second.
God give me strength...
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
