Well, you said you are thankful for a kick in the butt, well here it is.
Everytime you bitch at him, or tell him that you do not deserve to be treated like this, you are putting another nail in the coffin that is your marriage. Everytime you tell him that that he is the one that is hurting the whole family, another shovel of dirt is filled on the grave that your marriage is becomming. YOU ARE DOING THIS, NOT HIM!
EVERYTIME HE HEARS YOU COMPLAIN, it makes him think of how he could get to that reunion without you being there.
Did your bitching work, did it make everything better, did he seem closer to you afterwards.
Next time, just be pleasant and upbeat, pretend he is an aquantance so you will be nice to him. Then after you leave you can bitch all you want to us and to yourself how much of a slob he is.
HE IS HURTING, and you are hurting him more. He has to figure this out on his own, just like my wife did. I did what you did, but the only time I got results is when I worked on myself and let her alone to figure it all out.
She even came to me apologizing after I let her alone for about a week that she was sorry she had been in such a bad place but she had to figure things out for herself before she could work on us. After a few months, we started to work on us. Now everthing is wonderful, and I am better for it.
Hope this helps. You want advice, now damn it use it.
Burt
You're right. Thank you.
Me 34 H 37 Kids 7 & 4 Married 12yrs, together 17 Kiss/EA lasted 2 weeks. NC since 8/7
