I do think you should probably try to DB if you want to save your marriage. Have you read DR yet? I would recommend that highly, if you can't afford it check it out from your library. You shouldn't be begging, pleading, saying ILY, writing notes where you say ILY, none of that.
You need to focus on you. Change what you can change, and you need to detach from the situation. I think you should up your GALing. Running is a good start and exercise is perfect. But try to add in some other activity too that you will enjoy, make friends, take your mind off your situation. When I was starting out I was shy and wimpy, so my GALing was community theatre and martial arts. But there are thousands of GALing opportunities and all would be good for you.
I think you should stop listening or interacting with your H when he is drunk or almost drunk. I think there is just no point, except it seems to hurt you. It might be good for you to attend Al-Anon and get advice from them also.
