You just need to start working towards FORGIVING what she did for yourself not her.
Why the heck would I ever forgive her? For me or for her for whatever?
You've answered your own question. Why? Because you can't stop thinking about the her and the betrayal. I know exactly how you feel. Until you give it over to God and stop being the victim the longer you will suffer under HER CONTROL. When you FORGIVE and LET GO and LET GOD you move towards REALLY letting go. It's NOT going to happen for a long time. You will unfortunately deal with these feelings of betrayal for the rest of your life, but at some point you will STOP asking WHY? and just say "She obviously has a lot of issues to work on..." and get to a point where you feel bad for her in being so LOST. The sooner you try to get rid of the poison (resentment) out of your system the better.
I would avoid her at all cost right now. Just focus on the boys.
