I agree with this post. Cloudy, I think that she sought this out to see if she "still had it". Probably for the same reasons that you sought out someone else, years ago. It seems bizarre to think of it in those terms, I know.
But if her sex drive has been gone for a while, she might be wondering if she still has the ability to FEEL something about sex, for sex, during sex. She can't do that with you, because the subject is too charged. She sought out someone else to see if there is still a WOMAN underneath the layers that she has thrown up around herself. There is.
That is a big positive right there! And the fact that she is wanting to re-discover that woman with YOU is an even bigger plus.
I'm sorry that you had to find all this out. I wish that she had been more stealthy, for your sake.
Do not listen to all those negative voices in your head, telling you that he has something that you don't. This was not about him--it was about HER. He could have been anybody, or nobody. She just needed a way to determine if she has a sexual person inside of herself. She knows what YOU think that answer is, so you were not the obvious choice for her to turn to.
Good luck, hang in there and give her space. She will come around to you.
