What does he want?

[cantbreathe]

I guess I wish I knew if he meant any of those things. I wish I knew if he really trying to decide something or just trying to work through it.

He was late picking getting home last night so I had to take the kids to work with me. When he came to get them he was just a jerk. Barely talking, when I asked why he didn't let me know he was late or answer the phone he shrugged. When I got home from work, the house was trashed, the kids hadn't eaten and they were running around while he was in the bedroom.

I didn't R talk, but I told him that he needed to stop leaving me hanging on the way home, that even D7 has noticed that his not reliable anymore, and he is not allowed to treat me this way. I am trying to learn to give him space and I do not deserve to be treated like this. I told him I love him and want our family, but he needs to realize that whatever he's going through is hurting all of us. He said ok and seemed to make an effort to improve.

I see he's still not in contact with her and he's still here. Those are good things.

Does anyone have thoughts about possible feelings? Could he rally be wondering if he loves me and wants his family? Could he simply be struggling with guilt, shame, and remorse?

Thank you all for your comforting words and kicks in the butt.