Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

So.. I asked him about the BOMB. He DOESNT REMEMBER what he said. He was amazed when I told him. We had been out with our old friends, BMF1 and BFF and it reminded me of the bomb, this is what was said..

me: so do you remember what you said the night you ended it about them?
bf: no, I dont remember. What did I say?
me: You said.. I love Paul(BMF1), I love Mark, I love Chantal(BFF), but I dont love you.
bf: (wincing).. I didnt say that??
me: You did, those were your exact words, it rattled around my head for months. Dont you remember?
bf: I'm soo sorry, thats a terrible thing to say. No, I dont remember, why would I say such a thing??
me: I kept asking you, what do you mean you dont love me anymore, so you were trying to explain.
bf: Well thats a ridiculous thing to say. I cant believe I said that. Ridiculous.
me: Yes I thought it was too and my jaw was hanging open in shock, Mark in particular hadnt even called you for a year! You think it was ridiculous?
bf: Clearly it was, its a stupid thing to have said.
me: Why did you say it then?
bf: I must have meant it at the time. But I dont remember, I was mixed up, confused, but it wasnt true.
me: You also said it was over, for good, you were 100% sure..
bf: (wrily) huh, well I was wrong about that too! I'm so sorry, I was mixed up, confused, I dont remember the conversations we had, I dont know what I was thinking. I wasnt in my right mind.
me: Do you remember the last time we went to the B bar?
bf: Yes, we saw a band?
me: Right, just before we split up, you were very distant and offish with me
bf: (insistent) I wasnt!
me: You were, you were disdainful toward me and it was so awful
bf: I wasnt, I dont remember? God, I'm so sorry, its all a blur...

I just wanted to post this to anyone reeling from the shock of the bomb, so real and terrible to me, but seems it was part of his crisis, he didnt mean what he said and doesnt remember what he said. However, he does remember my reaction, that I ended up lying on the floor holding his ankles, making primevial howling noises.. he said he felt terrible at the memory and it had haunted him for ages.