It was a bad weekend. I discovered yesterday morning that my wife had decided to bring the fireman into our home Friday night and have sex with him on our couch. I found it in her journal, and showed it to her. We had the predictable blow-up, after which she left the house and I proceeded to break the glass on every picture frame of the two of us. Then I placed my housekeys on the counter and said that I cannot go back to the house ever again.
She called me later and left a message that she wanted to talk. I finally called her at midnight, and we started with a tense conversation, but then it got reasonable. She said that she doesn't know for sure if she has feelings for this guy or not, that she was just doing it for herself; a purely selfish act to experience it. She keeps saying he's a fantasy, but then she says things that give me the feeling she wants to dicover if he IS the guy for her. I am so damn confused and scared right now, but it is actually drawing me CLOSER to her.
I had an empty greeting card handy, with an "I Love You" theme on it, and wrote her something nice and then went to the house around 3:30 this morning to drop it off on the porch. I couldn't leave. I sat on the front porch because I felt closer to her in some way. I sat there in about 40-degree weather until she woke up to get the paper at 6:45. She looked at me like "what's going on?..." and I just hugged her. She cried, sobbing that she was so sorry, then we sat down and I just held her for about an hour. I talked as gently as I could about forgiveness, our future, how the guy is probably not Mr. Right, and that we need to stop our hurtful behavior and take what's left of the life in this marriage and do something about it!
So, am I stupid? Should I just leave? Should I be so loving and gracious? I can't help it though. I really love this woman. How do I keep her, you guys? HELP!!! I'm dying out here. I'd post my phone number if I could, but that's not wise, I know. I just need to talk to someone.
