Good advice. I'm afraid that I did another backslide though. Went to get the consumables for the car and was totally overwhelmed - I rang him. He answered the phone all bright and breezy then sounded 'ordinary' when he heard my voice. He said that his phone hadn't recognised my number, which is odd as it normally does. I giggled and said that he was obviously expecting someone important to ring as he had his 'telephone voice' on!
He kept me on the phone whilst he checked some info on the net and I almost thought that he was going to chat a little while as he umm'ed and ah'ed a little. I just said "OK, well thanks for the info. I shan't stop you at work and we can talk later" ... I hung up as I just heard him say "OK, bye then".
I came home, put the fluids in the car, planted the two replacement plants and now I am sitting here with a huge bowl of salad! It was so tempting to email him and say that I had completed the tasks and now the car should be fine but I deleted the words that I typed and told myself "step away from the email" - hence I jumped straight on to the forum to hang out with my pals here!
I felt like I had broken the back of the day but now I just see the hours stretching out before me again. This time yesterday, I was all excited and practising my lines for the evening. Who knows when I shall get to do that again?
I also see the nights drawing out again and the spring is on it's way. It usually warms my soul but now it makes me shudder. Going in to another season without H here and knowing that he will have moved on so much more without me. I can't bear that he is having a 'secret life' and won't let me know what is going on in his world but it's all part of the process and I know that I just have to swallow it and toughen up like the sparkly little Princess that I once was
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
