Keep focusing on the positives today - tomorrow will take care of itself and you will undoubtedly have time for those thoughts then .. they are important of course but right now you need to hold things together and get through this weekend.
Your kids will be there with you - and we will too. Just as I felt you all beside me last evening, you WILL feel us with you tomorrow. No doubt in my mind - I have never been surer about anything. You will be busy and when you stop for a quick rest, you will imagine us all watching over you and pushing you on saying "come on (((Oz))) not much more to do and then we can sit and have a glass of wine" ... we WILL be there.
Just like the 'baby steps' in our other issues, you need to break this down and just do what you can today. That is be excited that S is on his way home and that when you see him, nothing else will matter for the next few days .. your baby will be back in your arms *tears welling with excitement for you*
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Will try to follow my own advice and focus on positives.
I know I will survive tomorrow and I know that my friends here will all be watching over me in spirit and with positive thoughts. I probably won't get to come on here tomorrow or tomorrow night, which will be hard because coming here has kept me sane.
We are going to dinner with friends tomorrow night and then to watch the football, that was his idea, not mine, so at least the day should end on a relaxed note.
We will miss you! Just do whatever it is that you need to do to stay treading that straight path. You are going to be tempted to lose it at times, I would imagine, but keep telling yourself what you tell to me and others ...
... then go have dinner, watch the footy, continue to DB and make everyone else see what your H is so unsure of.
We know that there are no guarantees (((Oz))) but we can only give ourselves the guarantee that we will try our hardest ... and for the longest time that we can endure. What is the alternative?
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
I know what I should be doing, but at the moment I can feel the panic starting to rise in me again and that is what I am fighting really hard to control, one minute I feel so strong and empowered and then the next not.
When I get home from work, I will feed the furry and feathered ones, put my ipod on and start packing, maybe if I get myself lost in the music that will pick me up a bit, so when he gets home I will be dancing around the boxes.
... you are on the see-saw and it's a tough ride to get off, I know - you have watched my behaviour in the past week!
Glad that you can listen to music (I can't at the moment as every song tugs at me) but if you can get lost in that then it's a powerful drug ... and dancing around your boxes will be just what H needs to see to yank him into some sort of emotion.
Hang on in there - if in doubt, go get your DB book and sit for 15 minutes going over some stuff, check out other pages here within the forum, read other people's journals ... anything to stop the negative thoughts. I'm sure that you have put the red stop sign out, haven't you?
Drink water - breath deeply ... recite mantra's then look at how far you have come - BELIEVE, BELIEVE, BELIEVE .....
Come on (((Oz))) you can do this ...
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
All the best, Oz. Decide on a mantra, perhaps; 'I am strong and empowered' and keep it going inside your head. All the best with a busy and important day!
