But seeing as he is the him that has devastated my life (although not so much cuz I'm happier now, maybe I should take him out and thank him) and he sure caused our kids some heartache...I dunno..
I had to read the post I clipped the above from a couple times, and no matter how many times and how many ways I read it, that sentence above just kept leaping out at me, as if it were in neon.
To me, it's like Prego -- it's in there. Forgive me for projecting a bit, but this is just my reading -- in your eyes, Monsoor is HIM, the guy that visited all this crap on you (frankly, he's that guy in my eyes, too, but my eyes don't really matter here FWIW). As long as that's the case, "companionship" beyond Friendiness just don't seem to be in order, ya know?
We had back-to-school night tonight, and WAW and I went like perfectly Normal People, and even though I'm rather more detached than you are, I totally "get" what you mean by the fear of seeming-to-approve -- a lot of folks over there at the school "know" about Signore and "know" about the D and I had a flash of concern that my being so open and forthcoming and laughing with WAW -- all of which was sincere, BTW -- would be (mis)construed as having accepted what she did (not acceptance in the DB-sense but in the "I'm okay with Signore boning my wife" sense).
But then I just rolled with it the way @Gypsy reminded me was the only way to roll with it -- just as I can't control WAW, I can't control What People Think.
Not that it matters, but I think you're great. You seem to be doing pretty well, getting you sh*t ship-shape and Bristol fashion, and maybe it's just Too Dam Early at this stage for accompanying Monsoor out on the town as Co-Parent. Go to the matinee, go separately and sit in separate sections (depends, of course, on the venue), but I sense that you've already answered the question of going "with" Monsoor yourself.
"I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can do." Lucille Ball
