Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

I would talk to a C about your D. She's using her to get at you which is extremely damaging to her. Your W's using her to get under your skin, but in the end your D is going to be messed up and think oh it's cool for mommy to have a H and a BF.

Stuck,

I don't know what the hell is going on with my D3, it may be that she IS just parroting things my W is saying around her. Even still, my W shouldn't be saying these things around D3. I will be bringing this issue up with my C for sure.

Screw that. Get your W away as quickly as possible. Do it very calmly so that it seems like you're taking care of business instead of reacting to her. When she goes off, don't say anything. You're done talking to her after all and she won't listen to anything you say anyway. Just look at her like a spoiled brat. A pitiful creature.

When you stop reacting to her and do your own thing, she's going to break. Once you are gone, she won't have any choice but to see what she's doing.

I would seriously look at getting primary custody too because she's going to fill their heads with all kinds of venom that will hurt them in the end.

I've got a tough battle ahead regarding custody of the kids. Before my W lost her mind and got mixed up in her EA, she was an outstanding mother, A+. Right now, aside from the EA, inappropriate comments around D3 and associated weird behavior, my W is still about a C+ mom which compared to other women in the PTA is probably more like a B+. My W and I are like Ozzie and Harriet, only on steriods.

My W does have a competitive advantage over me as the primary caregiver of the kids. She will fight big time to establish herself as the primary caregiver of the kids. She is using the kids as emotional crutches right now, they are key to her not winding up alone. Realistically, I can probably expect 50% custody with my W as the primary caregiver. My odds of keeping the family home are better, but I will have to ultimately buy my W out if the D becomes final.

With the kids primarily living with her, it will surely take a lot of the "sting" being away from me. But, she will still have to share them with me 50% of the time which means she will be alone 50% of the time. Time will only tell what she'll think about that arrangement. Of course, she will still have the R with OM who is coaching her and providing her with R advice along with lots of affection, so that should also minimize things for her, at least in the short term.