Need Advice, WAW wants to give it a month

[trrose]

ve,

I think what really is going to f with the kids

can u explain what u mean by that? what will F w the kids?

Also I don't think my wife is out all the time but she comes home late often...and it really p me off. I'm having trouble distinguishing I'm my head working from playing..for example if she works late 2 nights a week does that mean she should get a night out?
personally I feel she probably doesn't budget her time well but that's a conversation that should have some fireworks

[Esox]

ve,

I think what really is going to f with the kids

can u explain what u mean by that? what will F w the kids?

Also I don't think my wife is out all the time but she comes

from my previous post "when/if they divorce".

[aliveandkicking]

for example if she works late 2 nights a week does that mean she should get a night out?
personally I feel she probably doesn't budget her time well but that's a conversation that should have some fireworks

This is something that should not have "fireworks." You don't even know what you think is reasonable. So, think about it. You know your schedule...

Should she "get" a night out depends on what you are both comfortable with. Your opinion that she doesn't budget her time well isn't going to help...how often are you willing to be home with the kids? For work or play, what works for you?

[Esox]

She should have as much time out as you two agree to. At least that's the marriage is supposed to work. . . I think.

[aliveandkicking]

all due respect. while there may be shades of truth in what u r saying you r mostly off the mark.
not entirely your fault since I did refer to myself as a drama queen

.

ok.

my wife knows me as a guy who is a straight shooter and very upfront bottom line guy.
I can tend to be dramatic at times but it usually happens when I'm nervous about something..my wife would tell u in my personal life I'm pretty laid back..not a lot really bothers me.

This is a little all over, hard to picture the dynamic but, you're pretty laid back, say what you think, she reacts and starts to pick it a part, you get nervous and act like a drama queen and then she gets aggravated and withdraws...is that about right?

also do need and don't like to be the center of attention. I checked out your sitch and I think your H was higher on the drama scale. doesn't mean there isn't some truth there..

Yes. My H wins the prize and is just like most guys but on steroids (not literally)...and truth be told, I probably win the prize in the analytical nag category...thus, I know of which I speak.

I think my wife doesn't feel comfotable talking to me when I'm like that because she thinks I'm not being rational and calm...

Yes, she wants you to back your sh*t up with some logic. Sometimes she's right to expect that and sometimes she's being a pain in your a**. Cause for divorce? No. Typical? Yes.

one issue that we have is that I'm a bottom line solution oriented cut to the chase guy...she is more of an analyzer so we both get frustrated w one another...if we r both on A I'm at Z while she is at C..and I have to wait while she analyzes why C comes after B and why D next...its a really big problem for me and it causes me a lot of frustration and anger

do you see her side of this? Seeing as she wants your decisions to make sense? That's how her brain works, she wants to understand...we do speak different languages you know, or come from different planets or something to that effect.

What to do...what to do...I think Retrovaille would be great. You guys need tools. You need better communication (duh!) and you need a some time away to reconnect...IMO.

[trrose]

how often are you willing to be home with the kids? For work or play, what works for you?

i would rather be going out or sleeping sometimes. i do love my kids but they are at a tuff age to it can be a chore. as for what works for me...i always was one for an open architecture...i just dont want to be taken advantage of, thats really the point. since the trust is at a low things are delicate..make sense?

[aliveandkicking]

i always was one for an open architecture

Not working.

[trrose]

my wife knows me as a guy who is a straight shooter and very upfront bottom line guy.
I can tend to be dramatic at times but it usually happens when I'm nervous about something..my wife would tell u in my personal life I'm pretty laid back..not a lot really bothers me.


This is a little all over, hard to picture the dynamic but, you're pretty laid back, say what you think, she reacts and starts to pick it a part, you get nervous and act like a drama queen and then she gets aggravated and withdraws...is that about right?

Now im dizzy what im saying is that people are complex and im no exception.

3 personalities

1. everything is cool life is good
2. a little nervous. there is some turbulance but we should be ok
3.THE PLANE IS GOING DOWN

thank god personality number 3 doesnt come out that often...but these are the times it will rear its ugly head. when im in emotional danger...like now(jeez this is like therapy)

Better?

[trrose]

What to do...what to do...I think Retrovaille would be great. You guys need tools. You need better communication (duh!) and you need a some time away to reconnect...IMO.

agreed because i am hurting..this is the biggest challenge i ever faced and so many times i feel like i dont know what to do..


this is the month we are supposed to be working and tonight my W has her Betty Davis look on in a room watching a movie. i cant juggle the personalites...i assume i let her come to me?

[trrose]

She should have as much time out as you two agree to. At least that's the marriage is supposed to work. . . I think

yeah i know. and to think things used to be easy...what the heck happened?