Hey M, this is such hard stuff and its so hard to get your head around it. You are trying to understand something that she doesnt even understand. It doesnt make sense because it is crazy stuff.
I think if you are unsure about the letter, I would hold off on it. I dont know your whole sitch and I dont know what you and the DB C discussed, but, I am not sure what that letter would do at this point. Your w is not ready to hear any of that, in my opinion.
Sometimes it is best to be still, ya know? I spun around for many months trying to understand how h can do this, how he could walk away without a backward glance. You know what I figured out- nothing? You cant make sense out of the illogical. So, if you can, stop trying to make sense out of it. You will drive yourself crazy.
She is in crisis. She is lost, broken. It really doesnt matter why they do this, does it? It is what it is.
So, what are you going to do to move forward. Because if you keep trying to get this, you stay stuck. You chase your tail and never catch it.
It is important to be very objective in your part in the demise of your marriage. Not for her, for you. That is where you begin to take control of your life. That is where you begin the changes you want to make.
Hang in there. This journey can be so rewarding. It can make us become the person we were meant to be.
