Day 4 (started counting from when I text him re his new home)
Some changes I need to make at least in the short term
-not cater for H for Christmas. If he wants to have time with the kids he can initiate and organise -not offer to organise joint gifts. He can initiate or I will do my own separate gifts -not let him know about friends/family news unless he asks -no friendly 'btw' texts/emails -no offers to go to kids things together (eg awards night). I need to just advise when it is on. He will probably want to sit together anyway so let him ask about arrangements -no discussion about the trivialities of the kids-handle on my own -no asking for assistance with household tasks-do alone
Question: I have written thank you notes to the people who visited me in hospital/sent flowers etc. Do I send H a thankyou note? He visited twice including bringing kids up on D's birthday and organising and bringing a cake. Courtesy says yes and it could be an opportunity to confirm that I am happy and just not in contact rather than him thinking my lack of contact is due to me being unhappy/annoyed with him. Flip side-180 would be no thank you
