Getting Un"Stuck" - Giving My Burden to God

[MrBond]

Journaling:

Let's see. This past weekend we took the kids fishing. My W had that "I really don't want to be here" look on her face the whole time. It was even her idea.

On Monday, it was my oldest D's birthday. Since I was on furlough that day and my D had no school, we decided to go and see the movie "Shorts". My W called in sick to join us. We had a great time and we were laughing and talking.

Later that night, she turned in with the girls and didn't bother to say "goodnight" even though I was right there. For some reason this irked me, so I went in to say 'goodnight' to them. I lingered looking at my W and she saw me. She responded with "What's your problem?" That's when I started feeling angry again.

I told her nothing and left it at that. Later that night, I thought about everything that's been going on and while things between us have gotten 100% better, her MLC attitude was starting to wear me down.

So then I thought, to heck with it. And proceeded to write out a long email pretty much saying how I was getting tired of her attitude and that she should start looking for help. Because I have no idea how any one can stay depressed for that long. I also went out to say that she should leave if she's just waiting for the next guy to come around because I'm no one's second choice. I have detached enough that I stated everything matter-of-factly and was actually interested to see what her response was going to be.

I emailed it to her working place and she received it on Tuesday. So Tuesday comes around and when she comes home, I'm curious to see what she has to say. She doesn't say anything about my message, but just talks about her day and dinner. So last night as she's turning in, she does it again and ignores me. I go in and ask her if she's doing all of this stuff to hurt me on purpose. She really didn't hurt me, but I was interested in what her reaction was going to be.

She looked at me puzzled and mentioned how our D's had told me 'goodnight'. I told her it wasn't about them, but her. She looked at me confused again.

That look of confusion pretty much summed up her MLC to me. I think she needs to go on meds or get her hormones checked or something. I even mentioned that to her in my email. But I know it's something that she has to figure out on her own.

If there's one thing about MLC I've noticed it's that it is like alcoholism. The people in it have to realize they have a problem before they can get better. Could also be a little post-partum. I just don't know how anyone would want to choose to be so depressed for so long.