Watch him closely. He may say one thing, but his body language will say another. You have to know your h very well to do this. Can you tell when he's lying to you? They fidget, look everywhere but at you, there are certain little quirks that each individual has that if you are in tune w/your h, only you will notice and pick up on.
As for the garbage spewing, you know what is live and what is memorex. Listen closely, very closely, don't focus on the anger. Sometimes they will tell on themselves and actually trip up and you will pick up on it. Sometimes, you will not notice just how much you really did hear and now know until after the conversation is over and done with.
This is an area that you will need to do some homework on to better understand what to look for. You know your husband very well? Then you will know....watch and listen.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
