I know how that feels. I thought I was nearing acceptance. Then a little boy at school today said something to me and the sentence started "My REAL dad....." (as opposed to his step-dad). That hit me in the gut...I don't want them to have 2 'dads' but don't want to be alone either...
So although I am sorry you are hurting, I think it is just part of the whole experience. Take care sis...
I guess. I am not complaining. Just dont know what to ...do with it. Maybe because my kids are now gone and I am starting to miss them today again... A couple of more days.
Being away from your children right now has to be contributing to the sadness, but it also has given you some time for yourself to process the hurt and anguish.
What to do with it? Let it roll over you and away. Think of the sadness and pain as a large wave. It has to come to shore, it has to engulf you for a short time but it goes back out to sea to lap gently at your ankles. It will go......with time.
Love to you K!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
It is very painful right now, but it will be better as you move forward w/your life.
Allow yourself to feel sad. It is natural for you to grieve as you've come to realize this is truly a complete loss for you and the end of something you once built w/stbx.
Even though you feel you've been done w/this for a while, it seems as if this is something that is "final" and "official" so it appears to be very natural for you to be really sad right now.
You know what to do...it is painful and awful and I am so sorry for all of your hurting, but you know what to do.
You feel sad...you grieve for this loss, because you have sustained a loss - and as you grieve, you trust in that unimaginable strength that you have, the strength that we have all seen. Let that strength sustain you as you feel all of your feelings. I have learned that the more we fight the feelings, the longer they haunt us. So, sit with that sadness so that it can pass.
Then you come out on the other side even stronger and more whole.
just checking in. everyone has such truthful heartfelt advice. I agree that you should be drenched in the grief & loss, indulge yourself in that now. At some point when you're ready you may try allowing yourself to be in "that place" for a specific but limited amount of time. and otherwise live the the here and now. I think the kids help because you just have to go on and enjoy life because of them. I remember joking that kids are a great prevention from jumping off the bridge. You just must get on with it, they make you. I liked Mishka's words. Nice imagery in the explanation. Reminds of the nature involved in our relationships and our emotions. Breathe. Calm deep oxygen rich calming breaths. When do the kittles get home? Mine is back tomorrow. I got a lot done without her, but miss my little queen.
Just got in and started readin today's post. You have some wonderful support here. I noticed you apologized to me for still loving your husband. First off, you do NOT need to apologize to me for any reason. Secondo, are you forgetting that I gave my xw another chance even though I knew she cheated on me. Granted I did not have the details you have nor did it go on for 3,5 years but....I gave it another shot. It did not work...for reasons that are still unknown to me. Like Mike and a few others say; their loss. I don't think anyone can some up with a miracle cure for your pain. Time as RTL suggests is indeed the conqueror. I jsut want to leave you with a thought. I keep remembering you mentionning August 25th....I remember you mentionning the long work hours.....I remember you mentionning his emotional and sexual emptiness towards you....those are some mighty big hurdles for anybody. The way you described your husband since I have been following your sitch....this would be a huge longhshot....this would be Y.E. yang beating Tiger in the final round of a major! I guess upsets can and do happen once in a while.... You know K, if there is one thing I learned in all this bullsh!t is when you have emotional attachment, it is very difficult to think clearly. But deep down we ALL know what needs to be done. We just need to summon the courage to act...the quicker the better. My dad who is a man of few words told me right from the get go..right after the bomb....walk and don't look back (he has no idea who the Rolling Stones are or Peter Tosh).....it was obvious to him...it is obvious to me. However, like my dad, happiness (yours) is all that really matters.
