Quote: As for the other man, I discovered that by seeing a journal in the house, and reading it. It was her private thoughts from last week, and I just have to keep it inside, as much as it hurts.. That's what I get for reading her personal notes. Having her write things like..."I imagine what it would be like to kiss and make love to a man that I am truly attracted to", and "I keep obsessing about (Mr. Fireman)"...hurts a lot, but also kinda tells me what I already suspected: that she doesn't love me, that she doesn't find me attractive, and that I'm being kept around for reasons that have nothing to do with me being a serious partner in her life. I hate myself.
let me first say to you that the journal says nothing more than she is fantasizing about someone....doesn't mean it's reciporacle or ever will be.
I wouldn't place too much significance on her words "I imagine what it would be like to kiss and make love to a man that I am truly attracted to" as they could also be interperted differently as well...
perhaps the "attraction" that she is speaking of is that lustful pang...that of course comes with newness...and not so much on actually finding you un attractive.
