It's about 1:30am where I sit, and I thought I'd check in before hitting the sack.
I spent the evening at the wife's house (formerly OUR house) with our younger daughter. Wife's night out tonight, and it was fun to spend the time with my little one. I put her to bed and waited until the wife came home, and we talked about things. I filled her in on the conversation I had with my boss's boss, who was very understanding and suggested that we all take the weekend to sit on things then address the resignation Monday. When he heard my side of the story with what occured with my boss, he knew that I had little choice but to do what I did. I also told him, for the first time at work, about my separation with the wife. He had no idea, which means that we were successful at keeping it under wraps. We hate to bring our personal life into work.
I explained to my wife tonight that I did not mean to put her, or our daughters, at risk. She was FUMING about it yesterday, but she is a bit more supportive now, especially because she knows our boss and what he's like. We had a nice talk for over an hour, then just held each other. I wanted her to invite me to sleep over, but she didn't. Sex would have been fun, of course, but I would have enjoyed just holding her for once in a long time. I'm meeting her and the younger daughter Saturday morning for a school function, then I'm moving into my pimp pad.....er, my new apartment.
I noticed at her house that she has put her clothes onto my side of the closet, basically taking it over. She has also changed the passcode on our voicemail system. I take these as signs of her own resignation. Should I? As for the other man, I discovered that by seeing a journal in the house, and reading it. It was her private thoughts from last week, and I just have to keep it inside, as much as it hurts.. That's what I get for reading her personal notes. Having her write things like..."I imagine what it would be like to kiss and make love to a man that I am truly attracted to", and "I keep obsessing about (Mr. Fireman)"...hurts a lot, but also kinda tells me what I already suspected: that she doesn't love me, that she doesn't find me attractive, and that I'm being kept around for reasons that have nothing to do with me being a serious partner in her life. I hate myself.
