Aren't you a fin advisor? What do you tell your clients that have been thru the last ten years in the market? The volatility works both ways. What's the trend since 1802 been? When is the best time to invest more? Aren't bear markets part of the process?
Ok I hear you and appreciate you taking the time to help me...but this is a relationship not a stock...this isnt a little rough patch. its someone who you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, get abducted by aliens.
I know others totally relate to what im writing, its like someone flicked a switch and dr jekyll went to hyde.
while im not perfect i was always a loving husband and dedicated family man...flawed but proven to be able to change...i see this as a level of betrayal and feel that my W is a spoiled brat…poor her! What a shame! Such a terrible life she has! Boo hoo!
what this comes down to in my sitch..is someone who asked for and got a family with two gorgeous kids and wasnt prepared for the fact that life is really tough...relationships are not like they are in the movies. there are bills to pay and kids to raise and jobs to do.... and she cant handle that
so instead of acting like a responsible adult she turns into a WAW
all i see is a selfish spoiled brat! thanks for letting me rant
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
oh and the other think i would like to do is give her the divorce...let her go out and find out how much happiness she is going to find...(more ranting)
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
Be the better option. Feel free to rant and rave here. That is what this site is for. Better to do it here than to your W. But keep in mind your ultimate goal.
Sleeping with a 25 year old is not going to bring you closer to that goal. And we all know that relationship won't last anyways. All it will do is further hurt things.
Let the 25 year old go. Focus on you and your kids. Be the best dad possible and a man that your W would be a fool to leave as 25yearsmlc always says.
You will be far more rewarded by not succombing to this temptation than by getting a hour of physical pleasure out of it. For one, you won't have to live with regrets and explain anything to your kids or your W. Also, you are not a hypocrite if you stay away from the 25 year old.
I don't see anything good coming from pursuing another R with another woman. Some may disagree. But that is my take.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Alive, you wanted to know where my wife had beefs..
Here is where i feel i missed the boat
1. didnt communicate constructively when something was bothering me./ - i would withdraw when my W would nag instead of confronting the issue and how it made me feel -i would dig at her at times instead of expressing my anger
2. i should have listened more instead of offering solutions
3. can lose my temper when my W says something that i disagree with or when i thing she says something outrageous 4. i tend to exaggerate at times and can be dramatic 5. prior to my W dropping the bomb i did not help out enough around the house with the cooking and cleaning..not fair to her since we both work.
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
oh and the other think i would like to do is give her the divorce...let her go out and find out how much happiness she is going to find...(more ranting)
Good, healthy, normal AND, I'm gonna dig in here.
You are married...it gets touch sometimes, you said it yourself. Your issue with her is her detachment from reality. You are a mature, intelligent adult, dammit who had to ask if you should sleep with a 25 yr. old because your marriage has hit a rough patch...
Hmmm...goose, gander...
Listen, while you are married, living under one roof, let the sex go for a second.
A) This is so damn common after the birth of second child; if everyone divorced at the juncture you're at, the divorce rate would be over 50% (hmmm...)
B) You have an opportunity to take the lessons given here and man up. Are you gonna choke and blame it on her???
Ya, get your confidence boosted (flirt, go out), watch 9 1/2 weeks or Nailin' palin or whatever gets you off, but do NOT let sex (or lack thereof) be the demise of your marriage.
This is the for worse part and you have by no means done your due diligence. I might get slammed for that. It is just my opinion and really only you can decide but I think you've got a last shot here to make a plan and stick to it.
So, what's your plan? What have you gleaned here? What resonates? What are your goals for the next week or so? Try to get specific.
Perhaps it is time to separate before you hate her.
Also, she can't treat you as a babysitter unless you let her.
Plan to be away from the house a few nights a week and go somewhere.
I would not date because I don't think it is ethical to play with another's emotions that way. And you are married so of course sex with someone else is off the table. Divorce and have all she sex you want. With willing partners that appreciate what you have to offer. Now that will certainly make you feel better, but it will be hell for you kids.
I think the best option though is get this marriage to a stage where you have all the sex you want with a willing wife that appreciates what you have to offer. But, I'm not smart enough to tell you how to get there.
Last edited by Esox; 08/26/0908:31 PM.
I'm a man . . . But I can change . . . If I have to . . . I guess . . .
