Well, on my feet today. I guess struggling a little, but making it through.
W seems more even. Last night, when commenting on how my t-shirt had shrunk in the wash, she says, lauging, "You look hot." Last night when she came home and I was playing guitar, she came into my room - I paused, she said keep going - free concert! I think she may have said I look handsome or some such this morning, and made a point to say "have a good day!" when I left.
I'm barely addressing her or responding to her at all. I just can't.
It's funny, she's saying things like "You should have some vegetables - well, I guess it's not my business."
At this point I want some space.
We've got plans to go to the state fair this weekend, all four of us. She brought it up - "are we still going?"
I think they're delivering the papers tonight.
I'm starting to see vague outlines of a post-D future I guess. Maybe negotiate that she get the house so I can keep retirement and savings. I don't know... Well, if it seems like I'm getting ahead of myself, it calms me to see managable solutions.
Whatever happens things will be OK.
Someone told me today that they'd been going though a hard time and went back to their religion. For this particular person, it was surprising. Maybe I should go to church this Sunday. With W as an agnostic, this has been an on-again-off-again thing for our family. There's a Methodist church near our house - didn't seem to work for our family at the time, but maybe this is just for me. (Yeah, I'm Methodist, it's not just random choice.)
