"I decided (decisive) that this wasn't working for ME anymore. I don't WANT to be with someone who doesn't want to call me when they are away. I don't WANT to be with a person who talks to me the way you do. I am not doing that anymore. Let's just be friends. Anyway, I have to get going because I was just walking out the door. Talk to you later."
Gucci, Thank you for your input..
I have a question about the 'tone' I should to use to say these things. Sometimes 'decisive' can be perceived by my H as angry. Should I aim for a tone of calm resolve? Immovable certainty wrapped in pink chiffon?
As for the issue of what I might require, I'm not sure that he will ask "What do I have to do?" He may do nothing at all. He is someone who can fall into hopelessness and helplessness pretty easily. I know that the men on this board are working very hard to get their wives back, but I also realize that there must be men who don't bother. They, of course, would not be on the divorcebusting forum.
So I may not have to articulate what behavior I would require. Anyway, I think it is more about a change of attitude, because that automatically leads to changed behavior. If, for instance, he agreed to call me at least every other day when out of town, but he didn't really want to do it, and resented it and felt controlled, I don't want it. I want my man to call because he cares about me and wants me to feel safe and loved and he recognizes the importance of keeping connected.
