Write away here X... it so helps. Running away overseas is so attractive isn't it. Good job on the # change. The distance/nc isn't permanent, just a good way to break the cycle. Take the time apart to figure out tactics that you will use to prevent her from blaming/attacking you when you do regroup again.
Stay strong in knowing that you were not totally wrong here. You were left with pain and little choice and sought out a means to comfort that pain. IMHO
