A Wife that has come back? Post Affair feelings ,,

[Deep]

Been some time since I posted in this thread, and I apologise in advance if this seems like some self-indulgent wandering ...

What would I have given almost 2 years ago to be here now? I'm very, very lucky and blessed. I allowed myself to let negativity and past hurts eat at me when I have been given a new lease of life in my M many would pray for. Sure, there's still healing to be done, and the M would be a lifelong (hopefully) work in progress and who knows what the future holds? But in a way, I've been ungrateful and not making the most of things, to say the least.

Well, a few wake calls in the last month. Both kids caught the H1N1 virus. Rather traumatic, especially when S4 had BAD reactions from the Tamiflu - halluinations and violent moods. As W is pregnant I had arranged for her to stay at a hotel for a week. That led to our first really huge fight that had nothing to do with the A. Issues of me being insensitive and controlling, of her being unreasonable cropped up. I did it out of fear for her safety obviously, as well as for the unborn child. But this woman is a tigress where the kids are concerned, no way she was going to stay away while her kids were sick.

We went for a detailed scan of the baby last week - no abnormalities detected so far, thank God. W has set aside some money coming in for us to take a getaway before she can't travel due to the pregnancy.

OM tried his luck recently - a few "innocent" friendly emails to her work email. She ignored him. We can talk about this calmly and factually now. Not the most pleasant of conversational topics, but the sting has mostly gone.

W just reminded me we're committed to help with the Retrouvaille weekend coming up, again a big change from before - she hated any reference to her "mistakes". Told me how she will want to keep paying it forward ...

I'm grateful, and must remind myself to remain so even as I keep in mind the lessons of the past 2 years ...