This not about morality. This is about where you want to focus your energy, what you want the outcome to be and if you are ready to man up and take this seriously.
Flirt, get attention...whatever but if you are ready to bone down with someone then get out first.
Is this how you want to spend that last month of trying to make it work?
Come on dude, make a plan and implement it or don't waste everyone's time.
I'm riding you a bit here probably cuz my H took a similar approach. Says he "tried" but had some lovely ladies tugging at his zipper while we were in the last leg of our "trying to stay together"...but they had "nothing to do with" him leaving...hmmm...check yourself.
I would say date other women, it will boost your confidence & self-esteem, reclaim your individuality, go through the process of looking good again, getting ready to meet other women, improving communication, and looking at all of this as an outside observer during the process. You will gain alot of self-confidence during this process: you will look & feel different afterwards because of it.
Hold on....i can date? wouldnt that ratchet things up a bit around the house? my wife would believe that im just dating and not having sex?
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
I don't agree with dating. To much bad can be assumed from it. But that is just me.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I would say date other women, it will boost your confidence & self-esteem, reclaim your individuality, go through the process of looking good again, getting ready to meet other women, improving communication, and looking at all of this as an outside observer during the process. You will gain alot of self-confidence during this process: you will look & feel different afterwards because of it.
Hold on....i can date? wouldnt that ratchet things up a bit around the house? my wife would believe that im just dating and not having sex?
A man this horny should not date.
Ttrose- There is NOTHING wrong with you or what you are asking and expressing here. How the heck are you going to date when you are already jonesing to have sex with someone????
Flirt, be social but don't be alone with other women...IMO.
This is just too close to my sitch. I love robx's advice BUT listen, when we were supposed to be in the last stretch of working on our marriage and my H started trying to make me jealous and was obviously connecting with other women, it made me panicked and insecure and hopeless and depressed. It did NOT have the desired effect and he was way too mesmerized by these hot, childless women who were doting on him. It is hype and it is very alluring...and once he got a taste of that freedom he was like a puppy being led by the scent of fresh meat.
No, if you are in this to make your marriage work, know your limitations. You are very sexually frustrated (reasonable) but decisions that impact your entire family should not be made based on that.
a hypothetical: there is a 25 year old woman that I know who likes me. she wants to have sex w me no strings attached.. based on all the bs I have been dealing with...all the ilybnilwy, and all the other related issues, can someone please tell me why I should not have sex w the 25 year old?
Ask yourself what your goal is. (is it to put your family back together?)
Then ask yourself if this action would get your closer to your goal or further away from your goal.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
I would say date other women, it will boost your confidence & self-esteem, reclaim your individuality, go through the process of looking good again, getting ready to meet other women, improving communication, and looking at all of this as an outside observer during the process. You will gain alot of self-confidence during this process: you will look & feel different afterwards because of it.
Hold on....i can date? wouldnt that ratchet things up a bit around the house? my wife would believe that im just dating and not having sex?
What she believes is up to her, you aren't supposed to fill in the details, if she finds out your dating so be it but you don't have to let her know who, where you're going, the color of the gitch you're wearing, etc.
