The "more intel" is actually tied w/me doing my expense reports for work.
I log onto our ipass account (tolls) once a month to document on expense reports/print receipt of tolls I use for my business trips. H's ipass is on there, too. So, this time, I took a closer look. Only a couple of questionable uses, but completely explainable since he has other drivers of his (he owns a trucking company) take his ipass when they need to swap trucks, trailers, etc... And, the other questionable info is the lack of some charges on there. However, I don't know what routes he takes to some places, some of mine don't show up on there, AND some of the tolls we went through together don't show up on there.
Then, the other thing was a cc bill. I opened it, as I had some flights and lunches I need to expense. Well, it was H's business one, not the one I/we use for the family. Same company, same envelope, didn't know they were the same... So, I scanned it. All of the purchases appear normal. Work expenses, fuel, trailer rentals, parts... Only question is charges during a time that showed the ipass in the questionable time/place, and it would all make sense since he'd be where the charge was taking place, and his driver would have the ipass.
Sounds dumb to say out loud, and I may be convincing myself, but that's all I'm prone to look at now, and it wasn't really even on purpose.
We're doing well, and getting better. I may be succeeding in work, and exercising, and having fun w/friends, but this still weighs on my heart heavily. I can't tell my heart to not feel this. I just have to keep trying to push the hurt to the back. Not sure how long the stress of this will allow me to continue though.
Thanks for coming by.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
