yes but the whole process has diminished my energy and hope. i also cant help but think...even if we do get through this...whats to say this wont happen again?
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
Trrose- it is time to man up. You're on here complaining about your wife but you're obviously dabbling in some iffy territory yourself.
You're concerned about playdates with single moms but I'm wondering, in the midst of all of this why not spend MOST of your time with your daughters with just them? This is an opportunity to really bond with them.
I'm no prude. I am still married but dating now. But my H moved out and we've been apart for 9 months and I do want the company and attention. However, while H was in my home (unfortunately I wasn't on here and was doing all the wrong things) I still feel clear that dating would have been jacked up, having sex with someone??? Nail in coffin.
You are young and a bit juvenile. It is great that you are honest here because it is easier to read your sitch.
I guess you have to ask yourself where you stand morally. As far as your question of if it happens again. What are you doing on your part that the same things that caused it to happen the first time won't be there to cause it to happen a second time?
It is hard and emotionally wears you down. We all know how that feels and we have either all been there or are there.
One of the problems is that you seem to be focusing on your current circumstances and not the outcome down the road. And yes, many times the WAW comes back and leaves again and comes back a couple of times before they finally settle back in to staying.
It does diminish your energy. But you have to find ways to refuel that energy and keep at it. What are you doing that you enjoy for yourself besides checking out that babe who wants a piece of you? What hobbies do you have? How much energy do you put into your kids lives?
If I can do this and walk away from a temptation like that feeling beat down as well, you can to. Remember your end goal. And don't count on anything lasting with a 25 year old.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
You're concerned about playdates with single moms but I'm wondering, in the midst of all of this why not spend MOST of your time with your daughters with just them? This is an opportunity to really bond with them.
i think you have the wrong guy who are the single moms
Quote:
You are young and a bit juvenile. It is great that you are honest here because it is easier to read your sitch.
First, thanks for calling me young you can do that anytime (assuming you didnt confuse me with someone else)
Second, i feel like i have to be honest and I do appreciate the candor...but im sure some of us get to a point where we are like WTF?
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
yes but the whole process has diminished my energy and hope. i also cant help but think...even if we do get through this...whats to say this wont happen again?
Aren't you a fin advisor? What do you tell your clients that have been thru the last ten years in the market? The volatility works both ways. What's the trend since 1802 been? When is the best time to invest more? Aren't bear markets part of the process?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
a hypothetical: there is a 25 year old woman that I know who likes me. she wants to have sex w me no strings attached.. based on all the bs I have been dealing with...all the ilybnilwy, and all the other related issues, can someone please tell me why I should not have sex w the 25 year old?
hypothetically what would happen?
your wife would divorce you in a heart beat as soon as she found out.
I can't help but wonder what your role is in your marriage dynamic not working is.
Quote:
Here is a partial list:
1. didnt communicate constructively when something was bothering me./ - i would withdraw when my W would nag instead of confronting the issue and how it made me feel -i would dig at her at times instead of expressing my anger
2. i should have listened more instead of offering solutions
3. can lose my temper when my W says something that i disagree with or when i thing she says something outrageous 4. i tend to exaggerate at times and can be dramatic 5. prior to my W dropping the bomb i did not help out enough around the house with the cooking and cleaning..not fair to her since we both work.
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
a hypothetical: there is a 25 year old woman that I know who likes me. she wants to have sex w me no strings attached.. based on all the bs I have been dealing with...all the ilybnilwy, and all the other related issues, can someone please tell me why I should not have sex w the 25 year old?
I would say date other women, it will boost your confidence & self-esteem, reclaim your individuality, go through the process of looking good again, getting ready to meet other women, improving communication, and looking at all of this as an outside observer during the process. You will gain alot of self-confidence during this process: you will look & feel different afterwards because of it.
However... having sex isn't going to make you feel like more of a man, it isn't going to make you feel more attractive. All sex will do is help you exchange bodily fluids with another woman who doesn't happen to be your wife.
Plus how is sex going to help you with getting your wife back?
If you have sex with another woman while you're trying to bust your divorce, I would say at that point you are "busted". What would be the use of continuing to post here if you're able to succumb to temptation that easily what would be the use.
Having sex doesn't make you a man, watch the news: there are lots teens & pre-teens for that matter that are having sex.
your wife would divorce you in a heart beat as soon as she found out.
That to. So much for fighting for your M if this happens and she finds out.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
