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Joined: Dec 2007
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Quote:
I need someone else.


Not need......deserve


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Posts: 3,975
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You need and deserve a reformed H and a reconciled M that is better than it ever was before.

Just my 2cents.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
Joined: May 2008
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I know that feeling 100%. You do finally hit that point where it is just enough. The heart, mind and soul just cannot take any more emotional beatings, and it is time to just let go.

I am there with ya K....


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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Kalni Offline OP
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Yes Kevin, I needed and deserved that. Only it always takes 2. One was not even close.

I need and deserve. It's how I am mish.

Lola, as I told stbxH one day, our bond is not a strong chain, it's many little threads that kept us together. Little by little, slowly but surely, he destroyed every one of them.

I need to let the emotion die (including anger, regret, disappointement) and start living to my new reality. If bad things can happen to us, good things are also possible. I think I have had my share of bad, waiting for my good times to start...
K


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 9,762
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Quote:
I think I have had my share of bad, waiting for my good times to start...


Great thinking! Of course, we make our own good, right? Why wait for it....create it!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,222
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Sunhine,

As always, I support you w/whatever you choose and I too am a believer in "never say never" but it would take an awful lot for me to be able to forgive and go back and honestly, I just don't see that happening in my sitch. So, I've chosen to move forward.

I can't really see your stbx doing the right things needed either b/c he's so screwed up inside his own skin.

Thus, you do deserve better and you will find the one you are destined to be with. This situation, regardless of how painful and difficult, has been placed in your lap to help you become better not only for your family, but for your own happiness in the future.

To that end, I'd have to concur that you do "need to be done" as stbx is clearly "not good for you."

Your analysis seems to be correct and as your astrologer said, "go w/your gut right now as you are very intuitive."

RTL


M:38; D: 6
Divorce Final: 10/6/08

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I am not sure that any of them can. I mean, I am sure there are some who really see the error of their ways, but mostly I think these people are self centered and only care about what they want. They dont think about the consequences of their actions, or the aftermath. And by the time they may even get an inkling, its just too late.

Of course, I am jaded...


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
K
Kalni Offline OP
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Friends are convinced there is no way we could reconcile. Some just dont say much. A few ask my what would it take. I know what it would take and I tell them. And then I ask them if they see stbxh capable of doing the work. They all say NO!!!! So, end of subject...

John forgive me, I do love the jerk. As much as I always did. But I lost him. He is dead. Gone...
K


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
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GMTA?

My friends think the same thing. I do love stbx too, so I know how you feel, but I could never trust him again. I am not about to live my life looking over my shoulder to see what woman he is cheating with next.

Do you feel a sense of complete and emotional exhaustion?


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
K
Kalni Offline OP
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Posts: 10,261
Tonight I feel...sad. Unbelievably sad. Beyond imagination. I feel a weight pulling me down, I feel hopeless for the future (not scared), after the 3 weeks of shock and anger, my babies's images resurface. I dont know how to deal with this. I've done all the tricks in the book and more. I've gone back and forth, dealt with my feelings, I avoided, hid, confessed to myself, I've done it all... Dont know what else to do...


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
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