a hypothetical: there is a 25 year old woman that I know who likes me. she wants to have sex w me no strings attached.. based on all the bs I have been dealing with...all the ilybnilwy, and all the other related issues, can someone please tell me why I should not have sex w the 25 year old?
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
Yeah, well, I think that someone could very well be yourself.
Not that I don't think it is only too human to succumb to temptation in trying circumstances ...
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
a hypothetical: there is a 25 year old woman that I know who likes me. she wants to have sex w me no strings attached.. based on all the bs I have been dealing with...all the ilybnilwy, and all the other related issues, can someone please tell me why I should not have sex w the 25 year old?
You are married. Your career could be negatively impacted. What would your kids think. It doesn't help your marriage.
regarding no strings attached - "The only free lunch is in a mouse trap."
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
To play devil's advocate..yes i am married but my wife told me it is over, she doesnt care, spends nights out.
sex wont effect my career...or really anything. I found out in the state of NJ, my wife can be having sex with the NJ Nets and it wouldnt make a difference from divorce perspective.
my kids are 4 and 1 and wont find out and if they ever did i would explain that me and their mother were separated...which technically we are. i havent had sex with my wife in about 6mths...all she does is criticize.
the allure is i really want to feel like a man again...to feel attractive to someone etc
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
Regardless of what your W may be doing right now, you are married as Coach says. Are you fighting for this M or not? What kind of example are you wanting to set for your kids? That it is better to give up when things are tough and go sleep with someone? Everyone makes their own decisions, but I am strongly against this one. I understand what you are saying and that it is nice to feel attractive to someone younger and pretty. Believe me, I have been there. I had the offer with someone younger and very beautiful as well. And it was a very strong temptation. But I did not do it. I completely understand your feelings and your physical and emotional urges.
But you have to make a decision on what it is you are fighting for, your self respect, your morality if that means anything to you, what your kids will look up to you for, and if your W comes back, at least only one of you will be apologizing, not both of you.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
the allure is i really want to feel like a man again...to feel attractive to someone etc
Better to be a man than to try and feel like one. Aren't you upset that your wife is acting on her feelings instead of values, beliefs, and thinking? It sounds like you are in a innapropiate relationship if you had a young woman proposition you. I won't validate that as healthy for anyone in your sitch. I understand you are hurting, it's your job to take care of yourself in healthy ways. Trust is a very rare and valuable resource be wise before you trade some of it for a fleeting feeling.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
And yes, my W had an A and is on to her second one as far as I am aware, so I understand those feelings to. Be the example your kids will look up to and respect even if it is hard. And I know it is hard. But you can do it.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Something tells me this isn't hypothetical either. Gotta make a choice on where you stand and stick by it.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
