#66 Looking for Susnhine...

[Kalni]

I am feeding the good wolf...

[RefuseToLose]

Sunshine!

I said I cant forgive him now but since I need to do that to be happy I will do it for myself eventually

Good for you! I'm glad to see you understand this step in the process especially since forgiveness isn't about the other person, but is done strictly for you.

Knowing is half the battle, my friend.

RTL

[addie]

I said I cant forgive him now but since I need to do that to be happy I will do it for myself eventually

Eventually is the key. Don't be hard on yourself if you cannot forgive for some time. I was expecting to have some sort of epiphany where I could just forgive H but it hasn't happened yet. Even if we know it is the best thing for us it doesn't just happen all of a sudden. It is a process.

[Kalni]

Morning sleepyheads!!

It's windy here and warm. I am trying had to NOT let this small bump get me down. It's funny how my friends assume I am done no matter what happens now. Only my brother keeps asking if that is what I want. I guess he is thinking of his wife's sister that took her H back after discovering an 8 yr affair with a woman whose kid's called him dad, he probably thinks if they did it, it could happen again. They actually have a pretty good and happy marriage now. And the H that strayed, says he is the luckiest jerk in the world that his wife forgave him...

So, wearing a purple dress, low cut and nice. Looking good=feeling good. I have to start from somewhere and the "insides" need a lot more work at the moment.
K

[mishka422]

Good morning K!

You sound like you are having a pretty ok day, all things considered.

WOW! An 8 year affair and the woman's kids called him dad? OUCH! Amazing that his W managed to forgive him. I couldn't do it...EVER.

It's funny how my friends assume I am done no matter what happens now.

So does that mean you aren't truly done? That you would accept him back lovingly if he did the work and had remorse?

[kat727]

I think one should never say never because then you have a ton of back peddling to do or you lock yourself into a position that you feel you can't move from.

I know how you feel. I stayed after my ex had the first affair and we went on to have 4 beautiful kids. I am done now, detached quite well and never wish to see any part of him but his backside as he walks out the door. Really not even that, but better going than the awkward look he has walking into my house.

This is your choice and only you will know when there is nothing there.

kat

[AliSuddenly]

Hey...I didnt assume you were done..! but then I'm a bit batchitt hey...

Also, my bf cant stress, as he said on Saturday, "I'm the luckiest man alive.. because you took me back and forgave me". I think wheres theres a will theres a way. If theres the will that is...

I just bought a purple dress!
xxx

[Kalni]

No no mish, sorry, I didnt explain well enough. I meant it's funny how everybody assumes I am done although nothing really changed as far as the OW is concerned and the same people were telling me to be patient bla bla. Now that it is confirmed, and although he did show remorse to my friends and said it is over, they all think I shouldnt give it another second of thought.

Hmmm, come to think of it, my story is like Lisa's, Julia's and many many others...

[Kalni]

The difference is, I WANT to be done. It is not good for me anymore. I forget and forgive and usually can start over in all kinds of R, not only with men, BUT, this time, I need to move on. I have to protect me, I have to become a WAW even if he does all the work and wanted to convince me to stay. He is bad news. Emotionally unavailable.

I need someone else.

[AliSuddenly]

...someone else? Hmmm...... *scratches head and wonders, who could that be ??*

Did you read Madalyn Aslan this week !? I like her...