Ups and Downs

[Energizer Bunny]

WOW. Thank you so much AAK for all of the time and effort that you put into your feedback here. There it will take me a while to ge through it all and get everything that I can from it.

First reaction though- You're right. There is a time when I will say eat sh*t or get off the pot. I fight that nearly every day. I look at my S7 and can't imagine putting him through it though.

Your point of view makes sense. I can't seem to get hers at this point though. I have to wonder if there is some MLC effect with the WAW stuff. Our finances have not been a problem, I have come to her with suggestions to get us on track, I have given her freedom etc. She even said that she has seen and appreciated the changes, but it's just not "meant to be," because she still doesn't "feel like she should." She just keeps going back to her "path to happiness" or her "true identity." It sounds like mumbo jumbo to me. Tie this in with late nights out, spending $$ like it's going out of style, dressing flashy, partying, and using highschool kid slang (looks and sounds ridiculous...but I'm judgemental). She's not even asking for any changes any more. She hasn't for months.

I pushed 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 weeks ago. She was completely checked out. She's angry now. During the arguments she acknowledged having a lot of anger and resentment at me still. She talked about how she had tried so hard to be everything that I wanted her to be and didn't feel that it was enough for me. She didn't feel like an equal. She felt criticized and judged. I mentioned a story that I read where a woman said "I tried for years and you didn't try with me, why should I try now? Just because you want to?" She said "Bingo!"

Now that makes sense. At least more than all of the "if it were meant to be" bologna.

From what I understand angry is better than ambivalent.