I'm determined to have a better day today. I was a mess last night, for sure, and don't want to repeat the experience. Just have to deal with that stuff that IS in my control.
Johanna, you and I are truly living parallel lives. I have very nice family and friends offering me long-term living situations with them, but I need a place of my own, that I can call my own, where I can go and think in peace, listen to music, and read without interruption. Living elsewhere, I always feel like I'm in their way, and sometimes, I AM in their way.
It's possible, as Corri indicates, that I'm reading too much into my wife's actions, but nevertheless I do read them. Since the whole *pager* thing over the weekend, where our Sunday together was thrown out the windowm she has not made a move to reschedule it or get it back on track somehow. Like Jo's husband, I wonder if my wife is willing or able to step into the light and reach out to me. Conversely, I'm afraid to do the same, after what happened last weekend. Stuck in limbo. But, I was stuck in limbo at home too, as she said *I want you, I want you....but I can't trust you, so I must keep you at arm's length*.
