I couldn't imagine not being able to see my children every day. or having one of my children turn their back on me.
BUT....
I think it is time for you to finally make some changes for yourself. The depression seeps through your words. The anger and the bitterness thwart your words and your demeanor.
And your STBX and your children see this.
What happened to the fun and loving Woman you used to be?
Where the heck did your back bone go?
I think it is time for you to take dominion over your family and stop being so damn afraid and fragile.
Both you and I started on this DB site together, and have both been on a major rollercoaster ride.
Neither of us has had it easy, but you have continued to wallow in the mud and have not moved forward.
You have every right to be angry at the situation, but you can not live in this anger or it will destroy you and the children.
They need to see their Mother doing things with a smile on her face. They need to feel safe around you. They should not feel as though their Mom is going to fall apart and they have to keep her together. Children should not have to walk on eggshells arond their parents.
They are NOT to be the go between of you and your Husband, this is so wrong. Regardless of what happens they need to know that their parents love them.
Only you can make this happen, only you can decide how you want to live the rest of your life.
Go get some anti depressants, see a therapist, join a gym.......
Do something different!!!!
(((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
